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it'll be bigger than electroclash! - agent double oh trouble
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darkadaptedeye
darkadaptedeye
it'll be bigger than electroclash!
the other morning, a friend said to me "Ahoy!". i think she meant to say "oi!" or some such, but it came out as "Ahoy!"... then it occured to me, pirate dialect is a shamefully underused set of slang waiting to mined and exploited.

which could lead to the next big thing:
pirate rap

yes, i know, "horror rap" failed in the early 90's even though it had backing by such labels as Death Row. but really, rappers dressed as ghosts of dead rappers is pretty cheesy. then again, clown rap and clown metal did catch on (Insane Clown Posse, Korn, the guitarist from Limp Bizkit, blah blah blah barf).

on the other hand, pirate rap does make sense. seriously, pirates are the original gangsta's, all cruisin' around the oceans with bandanas tied around their heads, jackin' chumps of their booty and gettin' down with tha hos.

pirates, the real OG, yo.

included below is a list of a few terms and their equivalents.
"hey!" / "yo!" / "ahoy!"
guns / gats / cannons
women / ho's / wenches
jewelry / bling bling / treasure
money / kizzash / pieces of eight
cars / rides / boats
friend / homey / matey
friends / posse / crew
enemy / bitch / scurvy dog
drive by shooting / drive by / broadside
"no" / "uh-uh" / "blarrrgh!"
booty / booty / booty

it could be only a matter of time before you start seeing wood panelled Mercedes SUVs with ship's wheels and thugs wearing gold chains with big gold sextants and compasses.

get in on it first before Vice magazine covers it and you see eye patches and pirate pants on the streets of Williamsburg and all the other hipster-hoods.

Tags:
Current Mood: yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Current Music: 13 men on a dead man's chest

30 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
fleur From: fleur Date: November 14th, 2002 10:00 am (UTC) (Link)
You = rock.




(or rap as the case may be)
From: hipstermafia Date: November 14th, 2002 10:07 am (UTC) (Link)
You haven't noticed yet that pirate fashion is in, full swing???
Fucking Morrissey wore a pirate shirt on the Craig Kilborn show when he performed. And the latest weird women's trend are these weird pirate pants that taper at the ankle with a big buckle or clasp, but the pants are at capri height.

very swashbuckler.

for proof just check in the women's department at H&M. I know for sure I saw that stuff there last time I was in there.

As for the pirate rap - you're on for something.
From: hipstermafia Date: November 14th, 2002 10:08 am (UTC) (Link)
onto something, even! ooof
kellianne From: kellianne Date: November 14th, 2002 10:12 am (UTC) (Link)
i am the person who uttered the A-HOY that started this rant.

i went to h&m a week later and snapped those pants right up, yes i did.
From: hipstermafia Date: November 14th, 2002 10:13 am (UTC) (Link)

Re:

i've been answering the phone "ahoy hoy" for years, but that's a simpsons reference and i think is more hawaiian than pirate.

yar...

i think we had a "talk like a pirate" day a month back or so. It was actually national "talk like apirate day". weird.
darkadaptedeye From: darkadaptedeye Date: November 14th, 2002 10:12 am (UTC) (Link)

hahaha. i know.

i think H&M is trying to work this whole peasant girl look but the big blousy shirts and the pants with the buckles are total pirate gear.
katestine From: katestine Date: November 14th, 2002 10:15 am (UTC) (Link)
OMG. That sounds fabulous. *runs to H&M for pirate pants*
katestine From: katestine Date: November 14th, 2002 11:58 am (UTC) (Link)

Update

They are no longer selling pirate pants at H&M on Fifth Ave. But they have 15 million varieties of peasant blouses. And a real pirate blouse.

And the staff is still rude.
mandy_moon From: mandy_moon Date: November 14th, 2002 10:09 am (UTC) (Link)

Yeeearrrrrrgh...

I am in full argeement with you.

But how, dear god HOW could you have written a pirate post with nary an "aarrrrrr...." ?

For shame. N'arrr...if not I have another question for you- could you spare a quarter?
darkadaptedeye From: darkadaptedeye Date: November 14th, 2002 10:39 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Yeeearrrrrrgh...

i'll send my pirate to fly over with some pieces of eight.

just send me a treasure map of where you'd like to have it sent. make sure to put a big X over the destination.

thanks for catching my oversight.

yeeearrrrrrgh...
labrujah From: labrujah Date: November 14th, 2002 10:11 am (UTC) (Link)
My roommate does a full-on pirate puppet show/musical, and weirdly enough ANOTHER pirate show (this one a one-man musical) came through town a while back.

It is definitely something in the air.
darkadaptedeye From: darkadaptedeye Date: November 14th, 2002 10:35 am (UTC) (Link)
wow. that's pretty cool. there must be something about piracy in the air.

a couple years ago, a friend of mine wanted to do a pirates vs. cowboys play just to use the outfits and dialects.
From: hjcanning Date: November 14th, 2002 10:15 am (UTC) (Link)

booty/booty/booty

Word. I mean uh, ahoy.
darkadaptedeye From: darkadaptedeye Date: November 15th, 2002 02:38 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: booty/booty/booty

it's all about the booty.

speaking of which, booty goes quite well in a classic Eames chair. nice picture. (yes, that specific one is my all time favorite)
modernpoverty From: modernpoverty Date: November 14th, 2002 10:25 am (UTC) (Link)
I've said it before and I'll say it again.

OH SHIT! PIRATES!!
From: badbargain Date: November 14th, 2002 11:32 am (UTC) (Link)
BRILLIANT!
lipglosstar From: lipglosstar Date: November 14th, 2002 12:02 pm (UTC) (Link)
LOL......that is awesome.
I will single-handedly make sure the pirate craze becomes big here in the Midwest. lol.
brooklyngirl From: brooklyngirl Date: November 14th, 2002 12:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
and then the man says "wo why do you have the steering wheel tied to your privates?"
and the pirate says "its driving me nuts!"

so yeah, Im all up on the pirate thing dawg
I live on freaking ocean and arrggg- if thats not a sign, I don't know what one is
this post cracked me up- you rule
i drool
-A
darkadaptedeye From: darkadaptedeye Date: November 14th, 2002 02:56 pm (UTC) (Link)

...and pirate rap is even a Brooklyn thing, yo.

Because Mutiny on the Bounty is what it's all about.
we'll board your ship and turn it all out.

-Beastie Boys back off of License to Ill

east coast all the way, matey!
yeearggh.
brooklyngirl From: brooklyngirl Date: November 14th, 2002 03:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
yo ho ho and a bottle o brass monkey!
-A
wrighter From: wrighter Date: November 14th, 2002 01:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
don't pirates have a reputation for raping a pillaging....

i think i'd like to meet a pirate. well a nice one....hmm... i want a pirate that rapes and pillages, but he does it ironically.

yeah...
brooklyngirl From: brooklyngirl Date: November 14th, 2002 03:13 pm (UTC) (Link)
We drink and rob and rhyme and pillage
-A
wrighter From: wrighter Date: November 16th, 2002 01:45 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re:

we? hmmm....
ladydiana From: ladydiana Date: November 14th, 2002 02:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
You're wierd, do you know that? ;p
darkadaptedeye From: darkadaptedeye Date: November 14th, 2002 03:05 pm (UTC) (Link)

heh.

i'm a well adjusted human being now compared to what i was back in division at bragg.

as a matter of fact, i think i was a pirate there too with the flap of my beret pulled down like a maroon eyeflap.
ladydiana From: ladydiana Date: November 14th, 2002 03:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
OMG!

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
__kel__ From: __kel__ Date: November 14th, 2002 05:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
you phreak
damenoir From: damenoir Date: November 15th, 2002 08:33 am (UTC) (Link)

Can I just say i've been down with the pirate scene since day one!

Whatever happend to the "Highwayman" scene ala' Adam Ant all of the above should be revisited.

Now that I think about it I think lil Kim has caught on to this.
darkadaptedeye From: darkadaptedeye Date: November 15th, 2002 03:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
word.

i'd totally love to rock a classic Adam Ant style outfit.

to hell with electroclash, i wanna be electropiratepunk.
From: fatalangel Date: November 15th, 2002 03:46 pm (UTC) (Link)



omg! --thats too funny =)
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